


some princes don't become kings

by PixieSweets



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Akechi kinda almost dies but he's ok, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I have no idea of what I just wrote but its gay and thats cool i guess, I may write a sequel later?, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, idk how to tag this the fic is a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-14 16:53:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14773488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PixieSweets/pseuds/PixieSweets
Summary: Akechi should hate Ren, but he did not. Akechi wished Ren would hate him, but when he held his hand like that he couldn't stop himself from hoping he didn't.





	some princes don't become kings

Akechi should hate Ren.

Just as he had predicted, the trickster had become a hero. Apparently, while Ren was good, Akechi was bad; it was ironic, really. He’d spent so much time believing he was doing the right thing, but he was just never meant for that. His mother had abandoned him, his father had betrayed him, the love from the public was always superficial, he’d attempted to murder the first and only person who genuinely gave a shit about him, and if what Igor was telling him was true, even a (fake) God was using him as a puppet behind the scenes.

He wondered if his whole existence was just meant to be the modern equivalent of a Greek tragedy and if his destiny was just to die alone regretting all his sins.

Even with these things in mind, he just couldn’t hate him.

The cold wind whipped his hair behind him, and Goro shivered. It was March already, huh― time had flown by, and by now the Phantom Thieves had probably forgotten all about his existence; If they hadn’t, then he wishes they will, soon. No one deserved to remember all the atrocities he’d done― It’d be unfair to ask for people to forgive him after all that he did, he was a murderer and he was probably just as bad as Shido.

He dragged himself through the streets, flinching with every step he took. He’d probably die soon, cold and hungry and really tired. He’d been let out of the Velvet Room almost two days ago, they had told him the game had ended, apparently mentioning that it was never meant to happen and something about fake gods and faking his death, and thus, he was free to go. They did not explain to him how he survived, nor why, but Goro didn’t have enough strength to ask, and the way the girl on the blue dress looked at him, with concern on her features and refusing to look him in the eyes only made it worse. He did not need her pity, not when no one had done anything to stop his life from becoming a living hell because of a God’s selfish wishes. Maybe he was being irrational, but he could not bring himself to care when he felt as if he was about to die.

Since then, he’d just tried to hide around Shinjuku, since he didn’t have money or strength to leave the place where he was dropped in. It was a huge place, so he had many places where he could just wait until his body finally gave up and he died by either dehydration, hunger, or because of someone murdering him. After all, he was not in the safest place in Tokyo― it was dangerous to be on the streets, and every night he’d have to see drunk people walk around the streets without a care in the world or getting into fights for whatever stupid reason.

It was at that time when he finally could feel his body giving up on him.

He wanted something to drink, or eat or anything― but he couldn’t breathe and whenever he tried to swallow it felt as if his throat was getting stabbed from the inside.

His hair was disheveled, and his lips were chapped. The clothes he wore were filthy, as he had spent two nights sleeping on the floor and laying around while pretending he didn’t mind. He wondered what his (ex) fans would think if they saw him; all the kinds of sensationalist titles newspapers would use to mock his fall from grace. Now no one was there to support him, no one gave a shit about him― it was pathetic. All that he wanted was to be loved, to be acknowledged, to be seen as someone worth anything, and he got the exact opposite. What’s worse is he could’ve done nothing to prevent it.

Right before his eyes closed, he thought about the Phantom Thieves, about Sae, about Ren. He’d used Sae for his own gain, so he hoped she felt disgusted at him and would be glad to know he was dead if anyone ever found his body. Haru and Futaba would be so, so happy that he got what he deserved― Futaba especially. Even if they claimed they sympathize with him, humans weren’t kind creatures. He knew they must have despised him on the bottom of their hearts, and that was a completely understandable emotion. He wondered if Futaba would ever learn that they were half-siblings, something he had realized while looking around Wakaba’s files and knowing about Shido. Hopefully, she would never; Futaba had a bright future ahead of her, and there was no point in him to bring her down more than he had already had. The other Phantom Thieves would probably be pleased to know he was gone too, he hadn’t exactly been the kindest while he was on their group, and none of them shared a bond with him or anything. And then there was Ren― his reaction was a complete enigma to Goro, no matter how much he thought about it. Would he be happy? Sad he couldn’t save him like he wanted to? Ren was the hero, Goro was the villain, so he should be glad the villain would not be around to harm him or anyone he loved anymore.

The thought of all of that made his chest hurt, but he ignored it.

As sleep consumed him, he could not stop thinking about Ren, his smile, and their first meeting at the TV station. He hoped his smile would prevail, even though Goro had managed to taint it with his whole existence.

* * *

 

Once he woke up, he wondered if those two days had been a dream.

He was not in his room, nor in the streets. His clothes felt lighter, and he was laying on something soft.

Looking around, he realized something which made his heart stop.

Ren’s room.

There was no doubt this was Ren’s room.

The desire to run overwhelmed him, so that’s exactly what he did. He had no idea of what was happening, but he had a gut feeling this shouldn’t be happening. He should be dead, he should be rotting in hell for his mistakes.

Maybe this was hell.

Either way, before he could go downstairs and run outside of Leblanc, he collided with another figure.

His arms were grabbed, and he twisted and turned attempting to break free without even looking at whoever was trying to stop him.

But almost dying made him weak, and so he was panting while sitting on the floor a few seconds later, grabbing the pants of the person he had just been fighting with.

“Goro, breathe.” A voice told him, but he felt so dizzy that he didn’t know from who it came from.

“I….” Tears welled up on the corners of his eyes, and he rested his forehead against the legs of the said person. He felt the figure sit down and bring him into a hug, but Akechi didn’t move.

He was tired, he was confused, he was alive.   

“Shh…” He was being treated like a child who just woke up from a nightmare, but that was probably what he was at that moment. He felt so tiny, as if the whole world was looming over him and threatening to fall in any second…

A few seconds, maybe minutes, the figure spoke up again.

“I’m gonna take you back to bed, okay?”

Akechi didn’t respond, but he got picked up by the figure and then left laying on a soft mattress which he guessed was where he woke up.

His vision was going black, was he going to really die now?

As if reading his mind, he received a reply.

“As long as I’m here, I won’t let you die.”

He drifted off once again, not letting go of the hand that had intertwined with his.

* * *

 

The next time he woke up, he actually felt alive.

He could feel the beating of his heart, the way his chest moved with his breathing.

It was soothing.

He sat on the bed, and then he noticed his strength had returned. He wondered how long he had been out― and why hadn’t he died then.

Apparently, destiny had an obsession with saving him right when he was about to die.

He saw through the corner of his eye a couch, and a figure standing up from it.

“You’re awake.” It was Ren’s voice. It was then when he realized he was still in Ren’s room.

He felt calmer, though.

“Why…?” ‘Why did you bring me here’, ‘Why am I alive’, ‘Why are you here’, ‘Why don’t you hate me’― Akechi wondered if there was a way to ask all of that at once.

“Sorry, I started searching around Shibuya as soon as Lavenza told me you were still alive― in hindsight, I should have asked other people to help me look for you. I’m glad I found you at least.”

“Lavenza…?” His head hurt.

“The velvet room attendant- the young girl?”

Oh, the girl who was looking at him with pity decided it was a good idea to call Ren for help.

He needed more time to understand that, but time was a luxury he did not have.

“I-I’m sorry for intruding…” He crumpled the sheets of the bed. Why had he rescued him? He should have left him to die. That’s what everyone wanted. “I’ll leave now, could you tell me where my clothes are?”

He was trying to act like his detective persona― charming, smart, cool, composed. But judging by the look on the other’s boy face, he was not buying it.

“I’m not letting you go yet.”

“E-excuse me?”

His mind was racing, trying to keep up the act but failing to. Was Ren plotting a revenge plot of some kind? Akechi certainly deserved it but…

“You need to rest, that’s what Dr.Takemi said.”

His emotions were going haywire.

Confusion blossomed into anger, and Akechi couldn’t believe that he was still trying to trick him by acting as if he cared. Why wasn’t he angry at him? He was a bad person, an awful person― and he couldn’t possibly ever hate Ren, so why couldn’t Ren just hate him instead? He had no reason to accept or support or even help Goro― so why? Why did he keep acting as if he cared?

“Why don’t you just stop lying? Stop acting as if you care about me when you want to see me dead!”

“Goro―”

“You ruined my life; your existence ruined my life, but I can’t hate you. I just can’t― so why won’t you be angry at me?! I killed people important to your friends! I used to work for Shido! I attempted to murder you for fucks sake! Please just let me die and forget all this― I’m scared, I’m tired, and even God decided I was a person awful enough to be the reason for the end of the world. So please just... just let me die.”

A waterfall of emotions was inside Goro’s heart, he felt like a hormonal teenager, unable to control his reactions or the way he behaved. He hated it―he hated to love Ren. Why would he keep being tortured like this? Why wouldn’t the guy who clearly didn’t want him alive just let him die?

“I told you yesterday, didn’t I?”

Eh?

“’As long as I’m here, I won’t let you die’. When you woke up yesterday you didn’t mind my help…but now that you know who I am you do?”

“It’s…”

“Goro, you’re important to me. Do you know how much I suffered for the months I thought you were dead? I didn’t know what to do; when Lavenza called me I was overjoyed. I would finally see you again after all these months― but when I found you, you were about to die. You were sleeping for a whole week, according to the doctor you were so exhausted that even if the world was about to end you wouldn’t wake up.”

But…

“Please, if you want me out of your life tell me. I promise you that If you want me not to ever speak to you again I will, but that will only be after I make sure you’re okay enough to live on your own.”

“Why…why don’t you hate me?”

“You’re not a bad person; you just happened to be on a bad situation, and on the hands of an evil fake god. There was nothing you could do to stop that. Besides, you genuinely seemed to enjoy spending time with me before, and of course, I did too. Even when I knew you were planning to kill me, I just… couldn’t stay away from you. I love you, Goro.”

Akechi couldn’t stop himself from letting out a bitter laugh while holding Ren’s hand.

He didn’t know if his words were true, but he’d treasure them for as long as he could.


End file.
